I always thought that anxiety was something I had grown into, that as I got older, had the kids, bought a house and did ‘life’ stuff, it had begun to manifest.
But lately, after being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, I’ve realised I was always anxious, I just hid it well. To the outside world (and let’s be honest, to myself), I looked like a super-organised planner—maybe a bit uptight.
Starting a virtual business during Covid actually helped me. It let me ease into networking, meetups, and conferences without being thrown into a room full of strangers. I could speak up from the comfort of my own home, which helped build my confidence (though I still despise breakout rooms!).

But as the world reopened, I knew I couldn’t keep dodging in-person events forever. So, I signed up for one. Then another. And another. Each year, I push myself to do more. But let me tell you—it’s never easy.

It starts months in advance. The second I commit to attending an event, the anxiety kicks in.

I worry about meeting people. What if I don’t fit in? What if they know I am different? What if I don’t know anyone and end up awkwardly standing around like a spare part? What if everyone else is already in their little groups and I’m just hovering on the outside, pretending to be engrossed in my phone? But equally what if someone talks to me and I sound like a right idiot?

Then there’s the travel anxiety. Trains. Connections. Delays.
Will I get there on time?
How far is everything from each other?
Will I be able to find the venue, the hotel, the nearest café where I can take five minutes to breathe if it all gets too much?
And as the event gets closer, my sleep—already not great—goes completely out the window. The week before, I start snapping at people over things that aren’t actually the real problem. The washing machine making a weird noise? Sudden meltdown. My husband moving my cup from where I left it? Immediate irrational fury. But really, he knows. He nods, lets me rant, and quietly accepts that my brain is actually just spiralling and overstimulated over the upcoming event. I get this overwhelming, all-consuming feeling that something *drastic* is going to happen and sometimes experience a panic attack.

It never does.

But try telling my brain that.

And yet, despite all of this, I still go. Because I know that pushing through the discomfort will lead to something good. I know I’ll get value from these events. I know I’ll meet lovely people (I always do), learn things, and walk away feeling accomplished and empowered.

Strategies That Help Me Manage Anxiety at Events

🗺 Using Google Maps to "Walk" the Streets Beforehand

This is one of the best things I’ve started doing. I use Google Maps’ first-person mode to “walk” the route in advance.

I look at buildings, street signs, landmarks—anything that will make the area feel even slightly familiar when I arrive. The more I do this, the less overwhelming it is when I step off the train and start navigating in real life.

It removes that lost and panicking in a strange city feeling, which is half the battle.

The Lighthouse, Poole is the venue for the upcoming ***Creator Day’25*** hosted by You Are The Media. Click the image to learn more

🤝 Knowing a Few People Beforehand

I’ve learned that going into an event completely solo makes my anxiety skyrocket. So, I try to connect with a couple of people before the event. This might mean messaging someone on LinkedIn, joining a pre-event chat, or simply engaging with people who are attending. Just knowing that I’ll recognise a familiar face when I arrive helps massively.

⏳ Building in Extra Time for Travel

If I have to rush to make a connection, if I even think about having to make a connection my anxiety can be a pain. I need buffer time. If a train connection is tight, I know my brain will be on high alert the whole way there, just waiting for something to go wrong. So, I make sure I have plenty of time between connections. Even if that means I am there at the station an hour before hand.

I book my tickets as soon as they’re available and if I need a hotel, I book it early too. (Always with free cancellation, because let’s be honest—sometimes the nerves win, and I need that safety net.)

📱 Staying in Touch with My Husband or a Close Friend

Throughout my journey and the event itself, I text and talk to someone I completely trust, that is most often my husband but it has been my sons or a close friend too. It helps keep me grounded. It gives me a bit of normality in the middle of all the socialising, and it reminds me that no matter how overwhelming things feel, I’m not on my own.

Sometimes, just sending a quick “made it to the venue” message is enough to reset my brain and remind me that, actually, I can do this.

⏰ Take Time Out When I Need it.

I always try to push myself, but I also know when I’ve hit my limit and need a breather. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I step outside, call my husband or pop in my earphones, and let the music reset my head—sometimes I grab a drink to give myself a moment. If I start feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious, I find someone I know (or at least have spoken to before) and have a chat to ground myself. It helps me find my balance again. Finally if I have depleted all my energy I go back to the hotel and not the afterparty.

👗 Have or wear a familiar item

Bringing something familiar can help you, it could be a small item that calms you—a fidget ring, a favourite pen, or even a notebook to scribble in when you need a moment to yourself. Wearing something that makes you feel good is just as powerful.

Whether it’s a lucky necklace, a cosy scarf, or a pair of fantastic dungarees ( just saying ) that gives you a confidence boost, having that little bit of comfort can make a difference when stepping into an overwhelming space.

The Reality of Anxiety at Events

The thing is, people see you at an event, chatting away, looking fine, and they assume you are fine. What they don’t see is the mental gymnastics you went through to get there.

They don’t see the sleepless nights leading up to it. They don’t hear the self-doubt that rattled around in your head. They don’t know that you were two seconds away from cancelling because the thought of stepping into a room full of people felt impossible.

But you showed up anyway. And that? That’s something to be proud of.

Every event I’ve been to has pushed me out of my comfort zone, but every single one has also given me something valuable in return. A new connection, a new opportunity, a new insight—something I wouldn’t have had if I’d let the anxiety win.

What’s Next?

This year, I’m pushing myself again. In May, I’ll be attending Creator Day in Poole (miles away), and in June, I’m heading to Atomicon (a huge one).

Both are way out of my comfort zone (one being miles away and the other being huge!), but I know I’ll gain so much from them. And hey, if you’re attending either, let me know! Knowing there’s a friendly face there makes all the difference.

If you struggle with anxiety and still push yourself to show up at events, I see you. It’s not easy, but you’re not alone.

If you’ve got any tips that help you manage event nerves, I’d love to add them to my pile!

Attending In-Person Events When You Have Anxiety